USA
From the December -March issue of "Fibromyaliga Aware" magazine. This article was written by AFton Hassett, PsyD who was part of a research team
examining this area:
"Early next year we will report the results of a large trial funded by the National Insitutues of Health in which people with FM formed a significant subgroup. We examined the severity of symptoms and consequent life disruption , as well as the relationship between these medical outcomes and personality factors. A key personality factor in these analyses was the assessment of core belief systems, or 'schemas.' Schemas are described by the father of cognitive therapy, Aaron Becak, as 'belief systems formed in childhood and elaborated on throughout adulthood.' Byeond directly affecting how we think on a day to day basis, these belief systems influence how we behave and fell. Sometimes these schemas are maladaptive and rule our lives like harsh critics.
Preliminary analysis of our data suggest that over 40% of our subjects with FM do not have maladaptive schemas, and thur are likely to be quite psychologically resilent- meaning they cope effectively with whatever lfe has to lob at them. We call these people 'Willows'since they bend and flex with adversity. Yet even Willows can demonstrate some tendencies toward the other personality types. Based on our research , clinical observations, and common sense, ther personality types are described below ( they can overlap and you can have many or a few characteristics of each personality type):
1. The Perfectionist- Perfectionists tend to be high achievers and are omnipresent in the most demanding and revered professions; however, there is 'good ' perfectionism and 'bad' perfectionism. Good perfectionism denotes someone who is driven, precise and effective, while bad perfectionism is generally associated with someone who has these qualities but also falls into the procrastination trap and or has a stress level in the red zone when at rest. People with this personality style are frequently 'in their heads' and generally avoid feeling unpleasant emotions. Yet many Perfectionists are quite anxious, sometimes surprising themselves with the harshness of their reacitons to others when the anxiety seeps out sideways.
If you think you might be a Perfectionist, there are some things you can consider doing to improve your effectiveness and decrease your stress (potentially improving your symptoms). First, remember that you want to keep the perfectionistitc behaviors that work for you and let go of thsoe that leave you feeling stressed out and stuck.
Perfectionists tend to have a fair amount of nervous energy, which is powerful when channeled in a healthy direction. Focus some of that energy on daily demands, but also get involved in something you value to add interest to your life- volunteerism, spirituality, politics, sports, or a hobby.
Also, try to identify the deep-seated beliefs or maladaptive schemas that might contirbute to your bad perfectionism. For example, a common schema for Perfectionists is that you must be perfect to be lovable. First order of usiness, know that this belief is nonsense. Challenge old assumptions about how you must be and consider new rules for how you like to be. Recognize that people who appear perfect ar typically irritating and often not terribly likeable. Isn't it much better to be good enough, and healthy and happy?
2. The Saint- Saints typically fail to realize just how angry they are at the very ones they spend so much time caring for. On one level Saints relish helping others and bask in their appreciation,; however, others often fail to achknowledge the Saint's efforts and she/he starts to feel taken for granted. Saints do not want to demand gratitude, and thus can become passive-aggressive, perhaps giving the ungrateful offender the silent treatment. Or Saints externalize frustrations and anger by channelling their own negative energy into a doom and gloom vision of the world at large. A bunre out Saint is often pessimistic, depressed, and angry.
If you think you might be a Saint, recognize that many of your kind, caring behaviors are what make you who yor are, but that you must also take care of yourself. Saints often have a deep-seated belief of schema that they are good peole because they care for others. This schema can result in your becoming a doormat that others take advantage of. It is critical to speak up and beome more assertive- not agressive, but setting limits.
Ask others to be responsible for their own tasks and behaviors, and be specific about what that might entairl. Sainta also tend to display some perfectionist qualities and often do for others, believing that only the Saint can do a good enough job. Let others help, even if you feel that their efforts will not be as good as your own. Know that, while caring for other people is noble and important, it is not the only reason why somebody is valuable and deserving of love.
If you are a Saint, you can benefit by taking time to care for yourself and allowing others to care for you. Know that if you are burned out and hostile, you will not be able to effectively care ofr the ones you lover or help them learn how to do things for themselves.
3. The Wounded Warrior- Wounded Warriors make up about 17% of individuals with FM we assessed. Their suffering is undeniable as survivors of persistent truamatic childhood experiences. these painful experiences shape schemas of loss, fear of abandonment , and shame. These belief systems lead Wounded Warriors into relationships what are not gratifying and are sometimes abusive. Such maladaptive schemas are also associated with depression, anxiety, self-defeating behavior, and isolation.
At their core, most Warriors want to undo the bad that happened to them by being attentive parents, lyal friends, and caring spouses. Owever, too ofte the Wounded Warrior is highly self-protective and will not let others in emotinally for fear of rejection after revealing the depth of his or her pain.
If you are a Wounded Warrior, you deserve the best care available. If depressed, your depression should be treated; if anxious, your anxiety should be addressed by professionals as well. Be willing to reach out for medical care and counseling, friendship, and support. Life may not have given you the good childhood and happy adulthood you deserve, but the future does not have to equal the past.
4. The Willow- If you are a Willow, you learn that the big and little events in your life are not responsible for your anxiety; it is how you react to those events. You learn that you can not control all of life's events (bad things happen to good people!) and that your lovableness is not directly proportional to your achievements. You accept the unpredictable and somewhat chaotic cadence of life and are grateful daily for the positive things and the people around you. You pause to appreciated beauty in everyday things and take a few minutes daily to breathe, stretch, and meditate. You bend but you do not break.
Know that addressing your maladaptive belief systems and self-defeating behaviors (and we all have at lest some of both) can help you too move towards becoming a Willow- no matter who your are now."
I see some of the Perfectionist and the Saint in me, but I am moving towards becoming a Willow more of the time. I am lucky in that I do not have the Wounded Warrior problem as I was raised in a very stable and loving home where I knew I was loved and I am in a stable and loving marriage and my husband is very supportive and loving as well. My heart goes out to all Wounded Warriors and I pray you get the love and support and medical care you deserve.
I found this copy of "Fibro Aware" at Borders bookstore and was thrilled to find it finally available at a store. I was a bit shocked at the price, though, and felt $9.95 for a magazine is a bit over the top, but it was well worth it and is just full of articles about all kinds of info for those living with fibromyalia or chronic pain.
sue in ohio
"Early next year we will report the results of a large trial funded by the National Insitutues of Health in which people with FM formed a significant subgroup. We examined the severity of symptoms and consequent life disruption , as well as the relationship between these medical outcomes and personality factors. A key personality factor in these analyses was the assessment of core belief systems, or 'schemas.' Schemas are described by the father of cognitive therapy, Aaron Becak, as 'belief systems formed in childhood and elaborated on throughout adulthood.' Byeond directly affecting how we think on a day to day basis, these belief systems influence how we behave and fell. Sometimes these schemas are maladaptive and rule our lives like harsh critics.
Preliminary analysis of our data suggest that over 40% of our subjects with FM do not have maladaptive schemas, and thur are likely to be quite psychologically resilent- meaning they cope effectively with whatever lfe has to lob at them. We call these people 'Willows'since they bend and flex with adversity. Yet even Willows can demonstrate some tendencies toward the other personality types. Based on our research , clinical observations, and common sense, ther personality types are described below ( they can overlap and you can have many or a few characteristics of each personality type):
1. The Perfectionist- Perfectionists tend to be high achievers and are omnipresent in the most demanding and revered professions; however, there is 'good ' perfectionism and 'bad' perfectionism. Good perfectionism denotes someone who is driven, precise and effective, while bad perfectionism is generally associated with someone who has these qualities but also falls into the procrastination trap and or has a stress level in the red zone when at rest. People with this personality style are frequently 'in their heads' and generally avoid feeling unpleasant emotions. Yet many Perfectionists are quite anxious, sometimes surprising themselves with the harshness of their reacitons to others when the anxiety seeps out sideways.
If you think you might be a Perfectionist, there are some things you can consider doing to improve your effectiveness and decrease your stress (potentially improving your symptoms). First, remember that you want to keep the perfectionistitc behaviors that work for you and let go of thsoe that leave you feeling stressed out and stuck.
Perfectionists tend to have a fair amount of nervous energy, which is powerful when channeled in a healthy direction. Focus some of that energy on daily demands, but also get involved in something you value to add interest to your life- volunteerism, spirituality, politics, sports, or a hobby.
Also, try to identify the deep-seated beliefs or maladaptive schemas that might contirbute to your bad perfectionism. For example, a common schema for Perfectionists is that you must be perfect to be lovable. First order of usiness, know that this belief is nonsense. Challenge old assumptions about how you must be and consider new rules for how you like to be. Recognize that people who appear perfect ar typically irritating and often not terribly likeable. Isn't it much better to be good enough, and healthy and happy?
2. The Saint- Saints typically fail to realize just how angry they are at the very ones they spend so much time caring for. On one level Saints relish helping others and bask in their appreciation,; however, others often fail to achknowledge the Saint's efforts and she/he starts to feel taken for granted. Saints do not want to demand gratitude, and thus can become passive-aggressive, perhaps giving the ungrateful offender the silent treatment. Or Saints externalize frustrations and anger by channelling their own negative energy into a doom and gloom vision of the world at large. A bunre out Saint is often pessimistic, depressed, and angry.
If you think you might be a Saint, recognize that many of your kind, caring behaviors are what make you who yor are, but that you must also take care of yourself. Saints often have a deep-seated belief of schema that they are good peole because they care for others. This schema can result in your becoming a doormat that others take advantage of. It is critical to speak up and beome more assertive- not agressive, but setting limits.
Ask others to be responsible for their own tasks and behaviors, and be specific about what that might entairl. Sainta also tend to display some perfectionist qualities and often do for others, believing that only the Saint can do a good enough job. Let others help, even if you feel that their efforts will not be as good as your own. Know that, while caring for other people is noble and important, it is not the only reason why somebody is valuable and deserving of love.
If you are a Saint, you can benefit by taking time to care for yourself and allowing others to care for you. Know that if you are burned out and hostile, you will not be able to effectively care ofr the ones you lover or help them learn how to do things for themselves.
3. The Wounded Warrior- Wounded Warriors make up about 17% of individuals with FM we assessed. Their suffering is undeniable as survivors of persistent truamatic childhood experiences. these painful experiences shape schemas of loss, fear of abandonment , and shame. These belief systems lead Wounded Warriors into relationships what are not gratifying and are sometimes abusive. Such maladaptive schemas are also associated with depression, anxiety, self-defeating behavior, and isolation.
At their core, most Warriors want to undo the bad that happened to them by being attentive parents, lyal friends, and caring spouses. Owever, too ofte the Wounded Warrior is highly self-protective and will not let others in emotinally for fear of rejection after revealing the depth of his or her pain.
If you are a Wounded Warrior, you deserve the best care available. If depressed, your depression should be treated; if anxious, your anxiety should be addressed by professionals as well. Be willing to reach out for medical care and counseling, friendship, and support. Life may not have given you the good childhood and happy adulthood you deserve, but the future does not have to equal the past.
4. The Willow- If you are a Willow, you learn that the big and little events in your life are not responsible for your anxiety; it is how you react to those events. You learn that you can not control all of life's events (bad things happen to good people!) and that your lovableness is not directly proportional to your achievements. You accept the unpredictable and somewhat chaotic cadence of life and are grateful daily for the positive things and the people around you. You pause to appreciated beauty in everyday things and take a few minutes daily to breathe, stretch, and meditate. You bend but you do not break.
Know that addressing your maladaptive belief systems and self-defeating behaviors (and we all have at lest some of both) can help you too move towards becoming a Willow- no matter who your are now."
I see some of the Perfectionist and the Saint in me, but I am moving towards becoming a Willow more of the time. I am lucky in that I do not have the Wounded Warrior problem as I was raised in a very stable and loving home where I knew I was loved and I am in a stable and loving marriage and my husband is very supportive and loving as well. My heart goes out to all Wounded Warriors and I pray you get the love and support and medical care you deserve.
I found this copy of "Fibro Aware" at Borders bookstore and was thrilled to find it finally available at a store. I was a bit shocked at the price, though, and felt $9.95 for a magazine is a bit over the top, but it was well worth it and is just full of articles about all kinds of info for those living with fibromyalia or chronic pain.
sue in ohio
Norway
Canada
