USA
From the book "Pain Free for
Life" by Dr. Scott Brady:
"If you're a perfectionist, you are conscientious, productive, and achievement oriented. Being an extremely careful person, you like all tasks and projects to be completed to the final detail, without any flaws. Everything needs to be done right, and you have a clear understanding of what that means, from the correct way to wash the car to the right way to iron a shirt or fit dishes into the dishwasher.
Perfectionists are good organizers; they enjoy things being neat and tidy. They also like control, correctness, and orderliness. Perfectionists aren't perfect, but they'd like to be. If you're a perfectionist, you tend to be a driven person, highly motivated and self critical.
On the positive side, you're probably quite responsible and dependable in your work and activities. But you consistently set long lists of impossible standards and goals for yourself and others. Perfectionists don't like being wrong or corrected; it goes against their deep need to be right. When you're a perfectionist, a task or job is usually and all or nothing affair: It's either done right , or it's done wrong.
Although most of your personality is something you're born with, a perfectionist personality grows and thrives as you constantly try to prove to yourself and others that you're not inadequate or average. As competent as you may seem on the outside, you're driven internally by an inner fear or inadequacy and a need to prove yourself by achieving.
For the perfectionist, life is filled with pressure- most of which is self- imposed. And when you do slip up or fail to complete your tasks the right way- or when others don't complete their tasks the way you want, you're flooded with waves of strong negative emotion. As you or others around you fall short of your goals and lists, irritation, frustration, and anger are typical emotions that you, as a perfectionist personality, face every hour of the day. In addition, the perfectionist may experience a strong sense of guilt, feelings of inadequacy, and sometimes a fear of being fount out to be far less than perfect- or possibly even average.
In the end, you regularly bury (repress) strong negative emotions, such as anger, deep in your subconscious because expressing such raw, unpleasant emotion isn't socially acceptable; it just isn't the right thing to do. But the reservoirs of repressed, toxic emotions continue to grow because you and those around you can never realize your impossible performance expectations.
Although it's very common for people with this personality to develop symptoms from Autonomic Overload Syndrome, remember that your pain-prone personality doesn't need to change for you to recover from AOS. You merely have to recognize the dangerous emotions you've been repressing due to your personality tendencies.
Peliminary questions to unmask your perfectionist personality:
1. Make a list of three things you didn't do right in the past week.
2. What expectations do you put on yourself? List as many as you can.
3. Waht are your expectations of others? Again, list as many as you can.
4. What three things frustrate you most about yourself or others?
5. What specific pressures did you put on yourself this week?
6. How do you feel when you don't do something well?
7. How do people make you angry most often?"
As I start on my depth journaling, I am finding that just putting it down on paper helps immensely even if I tear it up when I am done! So if you are a perfectionist, just writing answers to these questions can help you feel better without hurting anyone's feelings.
sue in ohio
"If you're a perfectionist, you are conscientious, productive, and achievement oriented. Being an extremely careful person, you like all tasks and projects to be completed to the final detail, without any flaws. Everything needs to be done right, and you have a clear understanding of what that means, from the correct way to wash the car to the right way to iron a shirt or fit dishes into the dishwasher.
Perfectionists are good organizers; they enjoy things being neat and tidy. They also like control, correctness, and orderliness. Perfectionists aren't perfect, but they'd like to be. If you're a perfectionist, you tend to be a driven person, highly motivated and self critical.
On the positive side, you're probably quite responsible and dependable in your work and activities. But you consistently set long lists of impossible standards and goals for yourself and others. Perfectionists don't like being wrong or corrected; it goes against their deep need to be right. When you're a perfectionist, a task or job is usually and all or nothing affair: It's either done right , or it's done wrong.
Although most of your personality is something you're born with, a perfectionist personality grows and thrives as you constantly try to prove to yourself and others that you're not inadequate or average. As competent as you may seem on the outside, you're driven internally by an inner fear or inadequacy and a need to prove yourself by achieving.
For the perfectionist, life is filled with pressure- most of which is self- imposed. And when you do slip up or fail to complete your tasks the right way- or when others don't complete their tasks the way you want, you're flooded with waves of strong negative emotion. As you or others around you fall short of your goals and lists, irritation, frustration, and anger are typical emotions that you, as a perfectionist personality, face every hour of the day. In addition, the perfectionist may experience a strong sense of guilt, feelings of inadequacy, and sometimes a fear of being fount out to be far less than perfect- or possibly even average.
In the end, you regularly bury (repress) strong negative emotions, such as anger, deep in your subconscious because expressing such raw, unpleasant emotion isn't socially acceptable; it just isn't the right thing to do. But the reservoirs of repressed, toxic emotions continue to grow because you and those around you can never realize your impossible performance expectations.
Although it's very common for people with this personality to develop symptoms from Autonomic Overload Syndrome, remember that your pain-prone personality doesn't need to change for you to recover from AOS. You merely have to recognize the dangerous emotions you've been repressing due to your personality tendencies.
Peliminary questions to unmask your perfectionist personality:
1. Make a list of three things you didn't do right in the past week.
2. What expectations do you put on yourself? List as many as you can.
3. Waht are your expectations of others? Again, list as many as you can.
4. What three things frustrate you most about yourself or others?
5. What specific pressures did you put on yourself this week?
6. How do you feel when you don't do something well?
7. How do people make you angry most often?"
As I start on my depth journaling, I am finding that just putting it down on paper helps immensely even if I tear it up when I am done! So if you are a perfectionist, just writing answers to these questions can help you feel better without hurting anyone's feelings.
sue in ohio
Sue.
Australia
Sue, I
can relate to some it thats for sure. 
I'm
shocking for being self critical sometimes, but have
learnt to accept things as they are and move on.
