USA
Article written by Don Uslan, M.A., M.B.A., L.M.H.C., of Seattle , Wa in the July 2006 edition of "The Fibromyalgia Network Newsletter":
"It is easy to understand how difficult it would be for the parent of an adult child with FMS/CF to accept this illness, especially since it does not have a clear outcome. In reality, it is a conditin of life-long coping. How painful to watch this in you, their child, when they probably just want to heal you and make you happy again! As you learn to handle the journey through your illness, here are some tips to help your parents through their journey:
1. Try to be patient and understanding of their difficulty in acceptance. Put yourself in their shoes and see if this makes their behavior just a little more tolerable.
2. You may have to accept, at least for the time being, their limitations. Don't try to force changes on them.
3. Establish gentle but clear limits and boundaries in your contact with them: you don't want to offend them by keeping them too far away, but you don't want their non-accepting attitudes to make coping any more difficult.
4. Educate them whenever possible, but keep expectations for their full understanding to a modest level. Consider bringing them to a healthcare provider visit so that they can see the level of compassion, caring and concern on the part of someone who does understand your condition. (Be sure to let the provider know of your parents attendance in advance.).
5. Give your parents some practical things to do to help you. For example, you may occasionally ask them to drive you to an appointment , or pick up some medications at the pharmacy. asking them to pick up items at the grocery store may allow them to feel useful and helpful.
6. Share with your parents articles in the Fibromyalgia Network so that they can be exposed to reasonable , mainstream thinking about your medical condition.
7. Above all, demonstrate your own confidence and acceptance of your condition and how you are learning to cope with it."
sue in ohio
"It is easy to understand how difficult it would be for the parent of an adult child with FMS/CF to accept this illness, especially since it does not have a clear outcome. In reality, it is a conditin of life-long coping. How painful to watch this in you, their child, when they probably just want to heal you and make you happy again! As you learn to handle the journey through your illness, here are some tips to help your parents through their journey:
1. Try to be patient and understanding of their difficulty in acceptance. Put yourself in their shoes and see if this makes their behavior just a little more tolerable.
2. You may have to accept, at least for the time being, their limitations. Don't try to force changes on them.
3. Establish gentle but clear limits and boundaries in your contact with them: you don't want to offend them by keeping them too far away, but you don't want their non-accepting attitudes to make coping any more difficult.
4. Educate them whenever possible, but keep expectations for their full understanding to a modest level. Consider bringing them to a healthcare provider visit so that they can see the level of compassion, caring and concern on the part of someone who does understand your condition. (Be sure to let the provider know of your parents attendance in advance.).
5. Give your parents some practical things to do to help you. For example, you may occasionally ask them to drive you to an appointment , or pick up some medications at the pharmacy. asking them to pick up items at the grocery store may allow them to feel useful and helpful.
6. Share with your parents articles in the Fibromyalgia Network so that they can be exposed to reasonable , mainstream thinking about your medical condition.
7. Above all, demonstrate your own confidence and acceptance of your condition and how you are learning to cope with it."
sue in ohio
Mosken
Sue,
thanks for posting this!! It's really good!
